Ever since I created my Facebook profile a couple years ago, I check my Myspace about as often as I voluntarily watch my VCR, but last night, I was deleting my past several years worth of pornographic spam and came across this comment from my near and dear friend, OFFICIALHEAVYHITTERS.COM (Offish’ and I go way back):
hey whats up what you doing for labor day weekend?
Well am partying it up .. and i want you to come party with me!
THIS WEEKEND WILL BE CRAZY i got Busta Rymes / SHAQ O NEAL / COREY GUZ FEAT LIL WAYNE “A M ILLE” .. KING MAGAZINE MODEL BDAY PARTY “MARIA VAZ” & MUCH MORE!!!
After the jump, my apology:
I cannot. Effing. BELIEVE I missed my chance to see Shaquille O’Neal host a show featuring The Gunz Brothers (villains from Super Punch-Out?) and Lord Tariq & Malashia (pronounced ‘Malaysia?’) I don’t know what any of the words in this Myspace comment mean, including “hey,” but I could’ve seen it for just $25!!!
OFFICIALHEAVYHITTERS, we’ve been close friends since way back in grade school, when I became your friend after everyone picked on you for having a bizarre and unwieldy first name that ended in “dot com” before anyone knew what that meant. So please, I plead of you, accept my apology for missing your comment, and I promise I’ll do a better job of checking my Myspace spam comments in the future and being briefly amused by them before clicking delete. You have my word.
If you can pass this apology on to Shaq, too, I’d greatly appreciate it.
