If you’re like us — “us” being people who appreciate their parents and are also not probably serial killers — than you were probably more than a little outraged at the way minor league baseball player Shane Keough treated his lovely mother Jeana on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of the O.C.. If you missed it: Jeana traveled to the Midwest with Vicki to check out Shane play ball. On their way to the game, Shane discovered he wouldn’t be playing… and then proceeded to berate Jeana with a series of abusive text messages (i.e. You better not f*cking show up; I’ll never f*cking talk to you again, etc. etc.) Of course, the girls went to the game, only to be treated like garbage by Shane (not to mention his younger brother Coulton, who will eventually collapse in a pile of give up at his therapist’s office.)
Later on that same day, over dinner, Shane treats his mother with incredible disrespect in front of a group of family friends. Disrespect isn’t even the word: It’s torture. If you missed this cringe-inducing meal, Jezebel has a clip.
Now, don’t get us wrong: We hate nearly ALL of the Real Housewife children (save for Vicki’s kids, who seem surprisingly grounded.) But Shane really goes for the assy gold in this episode. His language and behavior is that of a feral barn child, not the way a good-looking wealthy young baseball player should act towards his MOTHER of all people.
Which leads us to Math. Yes, we are actually going to use math to explain why Shane is such a taintpony. Observe this graph:
You could also go the easy route and just say that the guy is mentally retartar. Also, nice earring, guy.
