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Archive for January 24th, 2008

24 January
Thursday

7 Easy Ways to Make a 6-Inch Dog Feel Really Small

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Meet Brandy, The World’s Smallest Dog. At only six-inches high, this little Chihuahua has received the Guinness World Record for being “Just Too Precious.” Brandy is so tiny, she can’t even bark, as her lungs are too small to squeak. (Cutest. Lungs. Ever!) While The Sun only gives us two photos to swoon over, it was enough fodder for us to create the following list: 7 Easy Ways to Make a 6-Inch Dog Feel Really Small.

Number 7. Put it in front of a prehistoric dinosaur bone.

Number 6. Set fire to a house full of children, and wait for the dog to bark. Oh wait, it can’t, its lungs are too small.

Number 5. See how he feels about starring in a doggy reenactment of Juno.

Number 4. Call him into the break-room and berate him in front of his co-workers for not collating the copies correctly.

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Number 3. Ask him to open a can of soda. Then giggle at each and every attempt, because, well… his paws are the size of TIC TACS.

Number 2. Ground him.

Number 1. Buy him a Hummer. Or, if you’re really rich, a Zeppelin. Or if you’re really really rich, put him into a small capsule (say, a L’Eggs pantyhose egg) and shoot him into orbit.

After the jump, a bonus plea!

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24 January
Thursday

I LIKE TO WATCH: If Only They Were Torturing Jessica Simpson…

Do you want to feel like you’ve seen “Saw 4,” “Blonde Ambition,” and “The Game Plan,” but don’t lack the proper amount of self-respect to actually sit through those entire movies? As always, that’s why we have Michael Cyril Creighton. It’s like having our own cinematic “Saw” torture victim!

24 January
Thursday

New Bond Title “Quantum Of Solace” Surely Won’t Be Mangled By My Parents

BondWhat in god’s name were producers thinking when they decided to name the next Bond movie “Quantum of Solace“?? They’re deliberately trying to get my mother to mess up the title, aren’t they?

Now, my mom’s a huge Bond fan, but she’s also the same person who asked me over the holidays if I wanted to see that new Jack Nicholson movie, “Kicking the Bucket.” She’s a mom! Parents can’t be expected to remember movie titles that are two or more words long, especially if two of those words are “Quantum” and “Solace”.

Here are the 10 titles I’m expecting her to come up with, in order of least likely to most likely:

10. “Quantum Solar”

9. “Quantum Leap”

8. “Quantum Physics”

7. “Quattro of Sofa”

6. “Solar Squadron”

5. “Solar Eclipse”

4. “Wampum of Service”

3. “Casino Royale”

2. “Kicking the Bucket”

1. “That New James Bond Movie”

24 January
Thursday

No One. Absolutely No One Dumps Jessica Simpson.

From CELE|BITCHY — We all [secretly] know that Jessica Simpson’s diva-ness/father broke down her relationship with Nick Lachey. Who knew these things would hinder her relationship with Tony Romo. Check out the details, after the jump!

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24 January
Thursday

CAPTION THIS: LAWL JUDE

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Day 14,537 of Jude Law Watch: Still fine. Carry on.

24 January
Thursday

VIRAL VID OF THE DAY: Homosexuwhales

Best Week Ever is proud to bring you its Viral Video of the Day, which may actually have the best title of any viral video ever… Homosexuwhales. The title is so good, you will be forced to say it out loud, all day. Homosexuwhales. It’s a video about two gay whales, just chatting the day away in the ocean. Homosexuwhales. Not since the days of Planet Unicorn has the internet been blessed with such fantastic gay animals. Homosexuwhales. It’s a viral video wrapped in sexy wrapped in Banana Republic.

Speaking of Planet Unicorn, it has been waaaay too long since the last time we watched. And you know what? It’s still hilarious. Our favorite theme song in the history of recordable music after the jump. Heyyyy.

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24 January
Thursday

CAPTION THIS: Has The X-Files Jumped The Wolf?

Here’s a behind-the-scenes shot from the upcoming “X-Files” movie about a young wolflike individual who inspires Mulder and Scully with his dancing ability and random basketball prowess.

Wolf

(via Joblo.com)

24 January
Thursday

While You Were Wondering If Christian Is The Fiercest Fierceness To Ever Fiercify Your Fiercosity

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24 January
Thursday

Best Evening Ever for Wednesday, January 23rd!

While you were bearing your soul to your parents about how you stole from them whilst cheating on your wife on Moment Of Truth, someone was having the Best Night Ever! Fess up with Abby Holland as she probes Wednesday night TV for the truest, bestest TV moments from American Idol, Crowned, Project Runway and – you guessed it – Moment of Truth! Have you ever been more excited about a night of TV??? Oh really…that other TV wrap up video. Well, enjoy your money jerk, because this marriage is over.