Photos by Beowulf Sheehan

Last night, I had the great honor of seeing The Gute up close at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre in New York City, as part of comedian Dave Hill’s monthly show, The Dave Hill Explosion. How Dave was able to book someone as legendary as Steve Guttenberg is unknown, but he was there, and he wore a dress. I had suspicions before, but now I’m completely convinced: The Gute doesn’t give a f*ck and he is just living his life. And I love him for it. Also appearing on last night’s show was Project Runway’s Chris March, a chihuahua, Little Michael Jackson, and a performance by TAB The Band. Yeah. I know. It was incredible.

Dave usually begins his show in the same way: he comes out drinking a can of coke through a straw, fumbles with the microphone, and quietly, unassumingly mutters: “I must apologize in advance…for blowing your mind.” Last night was no different, and in response, the audience laughed, completely unaware that he was dead f*cking serious.

Find out why, and see more pictures, after the jump!

Right before his signature opening, I was worried that a large group of ladies from the Midwest were going to ruin the show. When Dave came out on stage, in that quiet moment before he spoke, the ladies’ middle-aged leader (who had briefly done a “sexy dance” on the stage for her friends prior to the show’s start) yelled out from the audience, “Dave, I’m from Indiana!” I was immediately expecting her to follow that up with “I’m in NEW YORK! I haven’t gotten this drunk since my high school prom!” But Dave coolly dismissed her and the show proceeded with minimal interruption. (The aforementioned leader fell asleep halfway through the show.)

Before he got to his special guests, Dave showed some videos, read an excerpt from his memoirs, and performed his signature opening theme song, which involves his sidekick, Phil, coming out on stage and blowing foam all over a shirtless Dave, who is throwing those little white firecrackers all over the place and singing “Dave Hill ’splosion” repeatedly. In the middle of that chaos, Dave’s buddy, Little Michael Jackson, appears on the stage seemingly out of nowhere, and he is MUCH smaller than I realized. After some light dancing, LMJ started punching Dave in the nuts. It was insane.

DAVE HILLS CHIHUAHUA

Just prior to the theme song, Dave did something that made me laugh so hard I was crying (and had the mascara smears on my face this morning to prove it). He told the audience he was going to do something he’d never done before. He asked if anyone had a small animal, and that a puppy would be fine if that’s all we had. After an awkward pause, a girl (I’m guessing a plant) raised her hand. She handed Dave her adorable, tiny chihuahua. He held the dog with one hand, and cued some music. It was the Gypsy Kings version of “Volare.” The intro to that song is slightly slow, and during that, Dave held the dog in the air, who was perfectly still, one leg sticking out delicately. The dog was staring blankly directly towards my side of the audience. And then, just when the beat kicked in, Dave made the dog bounce up and down as if dancing to the music. It was so simple…but the audience was going nuts with laughter. The dog maintained its still position throughout, which only added to the effect. Then Dave tried another song with the dog, this time Cher’s “Believe.” By this point, the audience was in a frenzy. Finally, a third song played; a more sultry song sung in Spanish, which he translated and made the dog “act out,” still holding him in one hand. It was hard to believe that so much more would come – at this point we hadn’t even gotten to the theme song, much less The Gute.

CHRIS MARCH

Dave’s first guest was Project Runway Season 4 finalist, and loud laugher, Chris March. He was his boisterous self, though maybe a little nervous at first. Dave asked him if he had ever met Seal, and Chris replied no, but that he had met the Seal/Klum children. Dave asked if the kids had those weird marks on their face. He knows how to ask the tough questions! (Chris replied, “Not yet.”) When asked if he had anything “juicy” to share about the set of Runway, Chris told us how some of the designers (or did he say producers?) would stage scenes from Brokeback Mountain during down time, to keep themselves laughing. The interview was somewhat stilted, because Dave was coughing uncontrollably from having ingested some of the foam machine juice during the theme song portion of the show. Phil kept peeking his head through the curtain to make sure he was okay.

STEVE GUTTENBERG

When Dave introduced The Gute, you could feel the excitement and tension in the air – everyone was just so excited to see this man in person. When he came out, he did not disappoint. I’m not sure if he got this dress from the rack in the Green Room (he wore black socks and brown shoes with it), or if it’s something he just carries around with him. It was a sleeveless number which revealed his guns, which were quite impressive for a man his age. He looked great – and happy. He had a sparkle in his eye, and we all felt he was truly excited to be here with us. Immediately, The Gute started complimenting Dave, telling him he was adorable. Chris made a comment along the lines of “he’s mine” and for a moment I fantasized about a fight breaking out on stage over Dave.

Dave’s interview style, if you’ve never had the opportunity to see it, is unique. He lists all the movies/shows his guest has been in, and approaches his or her smallest roles with the deepest research and insight. (He did the same, brilliantly, with Judith Light, when I saw his show at the HBO Comedy Festival in Aspen in 2007). And he’s not afraid to ask the embarrassing questions we’re all itching to hear. So yes, Dave Hill asked Steve Guttenberg about the ghost boy in Three Men And A Baby. Dave said, “The rumor is, a child was killed in that apartment.” Steve replied, “It is true.” Dave asked, “But how did he end up in the film?” Steve commenced a story about how the child died. The window was open, and didn’t have the gates on it to protect someone from falling out. The little boy went up to the window, and started to slip out. Just then his dad turned and caught the little boy, pulling on his leg. And then The Gute said, “JUST LIKE I’M PULLING YOURS.” ZINGAROOONEY! He got us good! Or should I say…he got us Gute!

Dave of course also asked Steve about the dress. He explained that he was celebrating Fashion Week and Chris March’s appearance on the show. Someone, Dave or Chris, asked Steve to show us his runway walk. The tech guy cued up some music and The Gute proceeded to act out not only his runway walk (which was hilarious), but the “backstage” prep (checking his outfit and hair nervously, talking to an invisible designer), and the aftermath (going “backstage” and squealing with delight). He was really cute and his commitment to the bit impressive. I think he should totally join a Harold Team. They also discussed his charity, Guttenhouse, which is a sort of half-way house for young women who are transitioning from foster care to adult life. He explained that for a while he would occasionally visit and have lunch with the residents. But eventually, he was told that the girls didn’t want to have lunch with him anymore – and he realized, they were growing up and didn’t need this father figure checking in on them. He said “Eventually, you have to leave Guttenhouse and never return again, so they can have their freedom.” I’m not sure what that meant, but it felt really deep.

TAB THE BAND

TAB The Band, a power-trio from Boston, recently finished touring with Stone Temple Pilots and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Last night’s performance was acoustic, three guys, three guitars. They sounded great, and you could tell that The Gute was really into it. TAB’s album (and plugged-in live show) is big time rock, so it really felt like we were witnessing something special and different.

THE END

Dave wrote a hilarious little song for The Gute and Chris March, and it was a perfect ending to the show. Phil came out during the song, and was singing a high-pitched harmony that was hysterical and kind of indescribable. The guests, the animals, the special effects, the music – it was all mind-blowing, but more than anything, I was reminded once again of Dave Hill’s brilliance. If you’re in New York I highly recommend checking him out, or tuning in to his TV show, King of Miami, on MOJO.