Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time again. Time for the 2008 Miss Crustacean Pagaent in Ocean City, NJ. (2008 already! It feels like The 2007 Miss Crustacean Padg just ended.) The event, organized by NASCRAB (seriously), features some of New Jersey’s most beautiful and least crotchical crab creatures. These are indeed the only crabs in Jersey that have never been taken to a Bon Jovi Concert, and certainly the only ones who have never had the pleasure of being covered in Axe Bodyspray.

Sadly, though, the photos from the Miss Crustacean event leave something to be desired. Above, a crab dangled from 5 hula hoops in some sort of Olympic homage. Could one consider crustacean humiliation abuse?

Yes, I imagine one could.

After the cut, it’s the crab runway! And the winner… she/he’s a beauty.

Here’s the crab runway. Looks like somebody has implants…

And now, the saddest things I’ve ever seen a kid spend his entire summer on…

And here is your winner!!

If magical unicorns could fart jewelry boxes in Key West, we guess this is what it would look like.