Jessica Simpson has become the new spokeswoman for Dallas-based Stampede Light Beer, a rare strain of malted hops that even a booze enthusiast such as myself has thus far not managed to hear about. Word is the suds are vitamin-enriched, and Simpson will also receive a 15 percent stake in the profits, so to help get her new business venture off to a good start, me and some of the other Mad Med around the office have come up with the following list of potential slogans for Jess’ new vitamin beer.

– “Stampede Light Vitamin Beer. It’s Smart – Like Me!” (Wow, I was just kidding, but that’s actually their tagline.)

– “Go Wild, Girls!”

– “The One-Time Tween Queen of Beers”

– “Hiiyyyeeeeeeeeeeee!” (If “Waaazzzzuuuuuuup?” can work, why not this?)

– “Tap my rockies.” (Hey-O! But seriously, I wouldn’t put it past them.)

– “It’s all about the beer, and me. Mostly me.”

– “Stampede: Calling All Cattle”

– “The next best thing to a pink drink.”

– “Tastes okay, less feelings.”

– “The Champagne of Vitamin Beers Endorsed By Jessica Simpson”

– “Yay, Booze!”

- – “Millimeters away from Ordinary.”

– “How To Speak Jessica Simpson. Stampede Light: Jessica Simpson for ‘Beer’.”

– “Mediocre things come to those who drink Jessica Simpson Vitamin Beer”

Leave us your own suggestions in the comments, and take the PopEater poll below!