August
Monday
The mayor of Rome has unveiled plans to build a massive theme park that would “put a Roman twist on rides like Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean.” While many Italians are against the idea, I think it would be awesome. Who wants to visit actual Roman ruins and see some of the world’s most famous art, when you can do it from a fake gladiator chariot on a ride, while eating a funnel cake? Think of all the amazing rides they could build! Here are a few ideas:
Etruscan Center
Visit the famous, massive meatball globe, which houses the Mission: Spicy Meatball ride. Don’t walk to get there – take the MammaMiarail instead!
Captain EspressO
Follow a spaceman on his 3-D mission to deliver a gift of espresso to a wicked alien queen!
Haunted Vatican
Ever wondered what goes on underneath St. Peter’s late at night, with all those dead pope tombs? Now you can find out – without risking your soul – at the spooky
and fun Haunted Vatican!
Roman Rapids: Actually In Rome Version
Based on the popular ride at Busch Gardens Williamsburg, take a wet-n-wild ride down the rapids* of the REAL Tiber River! *No actual rapids.
Country Bear D&G
The famed Disney ride, Country Bear Jamboree, takes a decidedly upscale turn with Country Bear D&G!
Spizzico Mountain
If you’ve never been to Italy before, you have not had the great privilege of tasting Italy’s version of fast food: Spizzico! You’ll feel right at home, eating pizza that tastes like cardboard – but you’ll also scream your head off in this INSIDE roller coaster of terror!
Big Thunder Mountain Renaissance
Because let’s be honest, there’s so much Renaissance art to see on your short trip to Italy, you might as well be on a speeding roller coaster.
Leaning Tower of Terror
The ORIGINAL tower of terror! Keep riding it until it falls!