OK, OK, I know… this picture might be a little too Gary Abusey for some of you, what with those little dumbbells and their quaint miniature karate costumes.

But admit it to yourself: If every Olympic event featured Orangutans, you would be glued to the screen. It’s a shame these apes won’t be able to see themselves on the internet thanks to that little thing known as (whispered) Communism.