ABBA had Mamma Mia (which is now a feature film – I had NO idea!), Billy Joel had Movin’ Out, Bob Dylan had Like A Rolling Stone, and The Beach Boys had Good Vibrations. Boooooring. Hey old dudes who own Broadway, how about we get some new musicals up in this piece? We need shows that are really fresh that can breathe new life into the stage!

My sisters and I came up with some ideas while sitting on the banks of the James River today, and I gotta say, I think these are all pretty much guaranteed SMASH HITS. So here you go: 5 Bands Whose Music Warrants A Broadway Musical. You are you so very welcome.

Title: Janie Get Your Gun
Band: Aerosmith
Plot Line: A feisty sharpshooter named Janie falls in love with a dude who looks like a lady.
Point At Which You Reach Over and Hold The Hand of The Person Next To You: The elevator scene is soooo romantic!
Celebrity Who Will Star In The Movie Version: Alicia Silverstone (It’s her big comeback!)

Title: Hip Hop Hooray!
Band: Naughty By Nature
Plot Line: A rootin’ and tootin’ cowboy has to learn the art of hip hop dancing to save his cattle ranch.
Point In The Musical At Which You Will Cry: When the cowboy sings a touching rendition of “O.P.P.” to his six-year-old son in order to teach him about the birds and the bees.
Celebrity Who Will Star In The Movie Version: Randy Quaid

Title: California!
Band: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Plot Line: A heart-warming tale of four best friends who are obsessed with the state of California.
Warning: There’s a lot of full frontal male nudity in this show.
Celebrity Who Will Star In The Movie Version: Justin Long (as Anthony Kiedis), and Neil Patrick Harris (as Flea)

See the rest, after the jump!

Title: Miggida Mac
Band: Kriss Kross
Plot Line: An unassuming Atlanta bus driver’s life is turned upside down when the new rookie bus driver on his route starts wearing his uniform backwards.
Musical Highlights: The opening number wherein the bus driver shows us his daily morning routine with “Warm It Up”; a huge dance number in which the city’s passengers sing “I Missed The Bus”; and the thrilling closing number “Jump”
Celebrity Who Will Star In The Movie Version: Cuba Gooding, Jr.

Title: The Sign
Band: Ace of Base
Plot Line: A woman embarks on a hilarious adventure of trying to have another baby, after having a dream she interpreted as a sign from God.
Point In The Musical At Which You’ll Be Dancing In The Aisles: The big number where a chorus of 35 babies – of all different nationalities – singing “All That She Wants Is Another Baby”
Celebrity Who Will Star In The Movie Version: Angelina Jolie