BEST 80s MOVIE SCIENTIST

Julius Erving

BIGGEST O.A.R. FAN

Tim Tebow

MOST DELUSIONAL HEARTTHROB

Brady Quinn

HIGHEST ELTON JOHN IMPRESSION TO GAMES PLAYED RATIO

Greg Oden

BEST TRADITIONALLY JAMMED-TOGETHER AWARD SHOW PAIR

Greg Kinnear and Ashanti

MOST ACCESSIBLE MACE

Kendra Wilkinson

BEST FEEL

Forrest Whitaker

MOST OBVIOUSLY GIVEN AWARD SO HE’D SHOW UP

Will Ferrell

MLS PLAYER OF THE YEAR

Jared Fogle

THE GEORGE MICHAEL STEINBRENNER III UNWARRANTED-HEADLINE-WHORING LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

Brett Favre

MOST DEFENSIVE EXPLANATION THAT HIS NIGHTLONG ERECTION WAS REALLY CAUSED BY ADRIANA LIMA

Zac Efron

THE BOOBY PRIZE

David Beckham