Tori Amos recently mentioned in her interview with Out that she is currently working on her “secret” musical. In 2007 she mentioned the possibility of doing one, but now she says she’s “in the trenches” working on it. YES! (Disclaimer to rabid Tori Amos fans who have been listening to “Me And A Gun” on loop since 1991: before you read any further, you should know that I am a huge fan, I love her, and I write for a comedy blog.)
I’m sure the musical will be so weird it makes Pan’s Labyrinth look like an episode of Bob The Builder, and I also assume it will be all new music. At first I was hoping it will be based on her existing music, a la Mamma Mia. But then I realized how unbelievably CRAZY a plot-line would have to be to make her music fit.
If she is going that route, though, might I suggest a few story lines?
- Tori’s Web A young woman saves a baby pig from slaughter by breast feeding it and warding off man-farmers with a shotgun.
- The Fairy Of The Opera A mysterious fairy haunts an opera and dismantles the male ego by dropping a flaming piano on it.
- Silent All These Years! The Musical! A mute learns to communicate with the help of 25 bucks and a cracker.
- The C*nt and I A professional widow arrives in a far off land to teach the royal children about the proper way to hump a piano bench.
- Legally Blood A young woman who goes to the big city to paint the town red…with period blood!
- Cornflake Girl! Broadway’s Newest Smash Hit Musical about a zany redheaded stepchild musical genius who eats cereal for every meal!
- So You Can Make Me C*m That Doesn’t Make You Jeeeeeeeeeyeeeezus! The Musical! Basically the same exact plot as Grease, except it’s a one-woman show.
(Via The Music Slut)
