How can you spot a fake attention-grabbing “slow news day” tabloid plant story?

BOBBY BROWN’S son BRANDON is claiming that he got intimate with the actress in a TOILET.

Apparently Lindsay – who most recently has been seen cosying up to female DJ SAMANTHA RONSON – couldn’t resist the reality TV star’s charms.

He boasts: “Me and Lindsay got really, really close.”

“She followed me to the bathroom during a private party, and, well, we basically got together.”

I’m gonna go out on a limb and call publicity shenanigans on Mr. Brown here. I mean, look how easy it is to make this crap up:

BWE.tv Blogger DAN HOPPER is claiming that he got intimate with the actress in a TOILET — not the British expression “toilet,” meaning “bathroom stall,” but inside an actual toilet.

Apparently Lindsay – who most recently has been seen cosying up to female DJ SAMANTHA RONSON – couldn’t resist the six-packed blogger’s acerbic wit and penis.

Dan boasts: “Me and Lindsay got really, really close. So close, in fact, that we started f*cking.”

“She followed me to the office bathroom on a Friday afternoon, and, well, we basically got together. And by ‘basically’ I mean ‘extremely,’ and by ‘got together’ I mean ‘had multiple orgasms as a result of sexual intercourse.”

My thing was true, of course, but the point is, I didn’t have to go through any red tape to get it into the tabloids.