Last night’s Devo Concert at McCarren Pool in Brooklyn was easily the best show I’ve attended all year — not just because the band played everything, or becuase their dummer is superhuman, or because they’re just generally awesome — but because, as anyone who’s ever attended a Devo concert can attest, the venue was just f*cking PACKED with girls.

That’s right — nothing but hot chicks, most of them wearing little to no clothing, out there to show support and flash their boobs for their favorite deevolutionarily-themed new wave quintet. I kept looking around and thinking to myself, “Am I the only guy in this entire place? Have I crash-landed on some all-female planet from a Cinemax softcore porn? Surely Devo has to have SOME male fans, right?”

The night proceeded as any Devo concert would: I was constantly bombarded with propositions for sex, some girls tried to tempt me with threesomes, the band played “Smart Patrol / Mr. DNA,” other girls offered to just let me have my way with them right there at the venue, but I kept having to say, “Ladies, ladies, geeeeeez Louise! — I realize I’m the only guy here and that my love of the band Devo whips you all into an aroused, animalistic frenzy, but I still came here to watch the show, not to be distracted by constantly having sex with all of you hot chicks, who are everywhere.”

After the concert, as the crowd dispersed, these hordes of persistent sex fiends — did I mention most of them were models? Cause they were — kept coming up to me and saying “Now that the concert is over, surely you can come back to our penthouse at the Plaza and partake in our nightly Cristal waterfights that inevitably turn sexual,” and I had to be like, “Jesus, we JUST SAW the Devo concert, I need to go home and reflect on it for at least 24 hours, if not 48,” and they kept whining “No!!! Why don’t you just come and reflect in the hotel and let us take turns giving you massages with various rare erotic oils,” and I was like “That wouldn’t really be reflecting, would it? Sh*t, I’m still getting over that ‘Gates of Steel.’”

So overall, it was an amazing show. Maybe not as many chicks as there’d be at, say, a Rush concert, but certainly not too shabby.