Ever notice how every time you stumble across some kind of “kindergarten teacher high on meth prostitutes self to students to pay for sex change” story on The Smoking Gun, that story always, without fail, takes place in Florida? It’s ALWAYS Florida. One is left with the impression that the entire state is populated only by retirees and people who fully dedicate themselves to coming up with elaborate ways to do the dumbest things imaginable. And while there are so many of these amazing stories to choose from, this local news video, about a naked crack head who keeps getting arrested for swimming with alligators (because he “talks to them”), could reasonably be estimated as The Best One Ever. I just want to know how the newscaster keeps a straight face. Anyway, keep it up, Florida. You guys are the best.

(via HipsterDiet)