Well, consider your wish granted. Thanks to Pancake Puffs, a wondrous new invention that turns those regular ol’ flapjacks into deliciously spherical roundjohns! Pancake Puffs is simple really. It’s a pan, with little mounds embossed into it, that turns pancakes into bite-sized breakfast treats. And the best part? You can now put things inside of your pancakes! Such as, according to the commercial… pudding.

But why stop with sweets? The helpful infomercial suggests other delicious pancake puff recipes too! Like… crab cakes. Or “Ps in a B.” And won’t your guests just squeal with delight when they realize their puffed delicacy is smothered in “fancy whipped cream.” (ohhhhh)

But let’s get real for a second: It’s pretty easy to make fun of Pancake Puffs, as just another indication that Americans are obsessed with handheld breakfast thingies filled to the brim with meat and/or so incredibly high right now… but you know what? I really f**king want one. So screw you, American Heart Association, I’ve got some batterballs that are itchin’ for fillin’!

The infomercial is after the cut. I haven’t been this excited about a product since the The Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express.