If there’s one show that I am secretly if not scarily addicted to, it is the MTV masterpiece My Super Sweet 16, where the FBAA club (Future Biggest A$$holes of America) picks a member to have a huge, million-dollar Sweet 16 Blowout Bash. I watch this show with equal parts pity, shock, and lust — let’s face it, if my parents had rolled up to my invisi-party in my brand new soon-to-be-totaled Mercedes, I probably wouldn’t be judging these girls and boys so harshly. Some of you may recall my favorite episode of MSS16, where a spoiled little Miami girl snaps at her mother after receiving the wrong colored $50,000 vehicle “You ruuuuuined my liiiiiyeeeeffff!!!”

Well, for those of you who don’t have the patience to sit through an entire Super Sweet 16 episode, I offer you a delightfully short, satisfying spin-off episode called My Super Sweet Funeral. There best be an LCD screen in that hot pink casket, trust.