- Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were married this weekend, and reportedly had an “Alice and Wonderland” ceremony. In that both were entirely populated by nonsensical creatures who defy logic and make sense only as hallucinations viewed through a looking glass (of paparazzi cameras).
- We get it, lady – he has a giant c*ck. Might be about time to give the old publicist a raise, John Mayer.
- I’d think it was cute that Kate Hudson is apparently dating Lance Armstrong if her pal Matthew McConaughey hadn’t already hit that. No sloppy seconds, Kate – you’re better than that.
- Doctors are still trying to determine the cause of Senator Ted Kennedy’s seizure, but if I had to guess, I’d say it had something to do with a realization that he’d accidentally ran out of booze.
- After being voted Entertainer Of The Year by fans at the Country Music Awards, singer Kenny Chesney – who has won four years straight – said he thinks the fans shouldn’t decide, which is sort of like saying you don’t really care about money after winning the lottery.
