Fans of British Romantic Comedies/All Things Re-Re-Ricardo have almost certainly seen the movie Love Actually, which, along with Notting Hill, are two movies that become all the more enjoyable after each hundred viewings. Love Actually is a series of small vignettes all about love during Christmastime, some of them highly enjoyable (Hugh Grant’s love story in particular), and some of them physically extremely painful (Keira Knightley’s jaw is in fully FX.)

Probably the most painful story of all is the one involving Laura Linney, an overworked journalist with a beefy retarded brother in a home, who has the chance to hook up with the only tan man in England, played by Brazilian actor Rodrigo Santoro, and chooses her brother over him. It is difficult to tel whether or not Rodrigo speaks English, as his lines in the film were mainly limited to things like “My abs are so-uh lonely” and “Would you like to borrow my-uh washboard” — lines which he delivered all too naturally.

But in this post Love Actually world, we had never really seen Rodrigo DO anything else, save a couple of sensual Chanel ads with Nicole Kidman and the odd Lost episode… or so we thought.

After the cut, the shock of our lives. In what movie did this Portuguese Man O’ War make huge waves in… without us ever recognizing him?!

Rodrigo was the face behind the giant Tranny Warrior Man Xerxes in 300!!! We should have known from the gilded mesh codpiece alone, but still: Color us overly-tanned, bald and shocked!

Also, why hasn’t there been a good British romcom in ages? And don’t tell me to rent The Holiday… because it sort of sucked.