Olsen Twins, you have countless millions of dollars in the bank, so I’m guessing this new coffee table book you’re releasing isn’t just some vague project you slapped your names on to collect paychecks. You had to have put some thought into it, right?

It will feature “the most interesting, challenging, creative people we know — the ones who helped pave the way for us and our generation,” Ashley said in a statement.

Hmm, that’s pretty vague. What exactly is the reason for this book again? And don’t just spew PR buzzphrases like “paved the way” or “inspire others.”

“Ashley and I interviewed the people who have inspired us, with the hope that they will inspire and teach others,” Mary-Kate said.

All right, this rrrreeeallly sounds like something you’re just slapping your names on and charging $50 for it because it’ll have a huge black-and-white photo of something artistic really close up and your faces on the back looking austere and legit. I don’t need to buy this book, right?

The book — due this fall — will also feature exclusive photos of the twins and never-before-seen interviews with the two.

Whoa, exclusive photos??? Do you mean, like, exclusive, never before seen regular photos of you two, or exclusive photos steamy lesbian pics from your 18th birthday night that we all know exist and really want to see them so that we can make fun of them and only for that reason? Yeah, like we’re gonna buy the entire book just because the phrase “exclusive photos” is slightly interpretable.

It’s not on Amazon yet, by the way.