- Check out these photos of Lindsay Lohan’s latest photoshoot, appropriately entitled “How To Foreshadow Your Own Future Without Really Trying.”
- Jennifer Lopez is about to give birth to twins! And staffers at her local Long Island Hospital have already gotten he room ready for the delivery, equipping it with dozens of roses, a king-sized Temperpedic bed, and an automatic nurse slapper.
- Amy Winehouse’s husband “Blake Incarcerated” is recovering from a heroin overdose in prison. To show her support, Winehouse has decided to leave her house in classic “prison bitch get-up”, black cheek tear and all, until he is healed.
- Paris Hilton is gearing up for her highly anticipated trip to Rwanda by strapping herself into a rhinestoned corset and performing burlesque at a Las Vegas nightclub, which in many African tribes is considered an interpretive dance to mean “She Who Is Most Easily Impregnated.”
- Normally, word of a Hollywood perma-threesome relationship would be cause for many a heart palpitation. But for some reason, when it’s the ambiguously strange Tilda Swinton, we’re all “Good for her! You go, Tilda.” If she ever lands her own sitcom, we hope it’s called “Because She’s Tilda!”
