Today is a beautiful day. Full of light. Why? Because today is the day that my friends at Videogum posted this video. It is a music video for a song called “Shine” by Chris Dane Owens, and it is easily my new favorite thing – and will probably remain my favorite thing until the day I die. First of all – and I am not typing this with even an ounce of irony – I really love this song. Anyone who knows me will tell you that this type of song is my jams. But the video? THE VIDEO! It’s f*cking INCREDIBLE…I have no IDEA what is going on here, but it’s a goddamn epic.
For those of you who can’t watch video, here’s the basic plot (as far as I can tell):
- It’s a time of darkness, and a time of light, and then the crusade begins.
- A knight (Chris Dane Owens with a moustache and tiny goatee), rides a horse and finds his Wiccan lady friend, in a cape of course. Random viking ship.
- Chris jams on his green guitar, and throws his sword around in a shower of sparkles.
- Chris and his lover think about each other, hold hands, run through some flowering trees towards each other.
- Uh oh! Some evil warrior princesses approacheth with swords!
- Sword fights ensue; wild horses run.
- Elfin princesses float across the water holding candles.
- Now we are in a magical winter wonderland, and some pterodactyls (dragons?) fly around a castle.
- A random man appears in the center of a three-way split screen – this is something that keeps happening and makes me think that this video is perhaps the opening sequence of a soap opera?
- Random dude causes a ship to explode…with nothing but his SWORD.
- Chris is in a shipwreck caused by the Wiccan ladies!
- Now he’s in a forest (dead?) next to his lover.
- He’s walking into a castle in the sky (heaven?).
- He touches hands with an angel, just like a Michelangelo painting.
- Chris opens up his shirt to reveal that he is made of light – sort of a combo of Cocoon and Quantum Leap.
- Wiccan ladies play ghosts in the graveyard.
- Uh oh! Now we’re in hell! There’s a war between good and evil!
- Oh my…this montage is happening too fast…alligators – skeletons – explosions – Planet Krypton – Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest – an asteroid hitting the earth – the tree of life – Atreyu – The Fourth of July – fairy dust – french kissing…
- Finally, it ends with this text: “Love Has Enemies.”
