Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to visit your best Polar Bear friend in jail? Well, we wonder about it every day. There he’d be, crushed, spirits broken, head hung low behind the glass, feeling guilt for what he’d done, or confusion over a bear crime he never even committed. And what can you do? Other than coo into the little telephone to nowhere, cry, and of course…

Put your hand on the glass, to be as close to his giant murder paw as possible.

Well do we have great news for you. You can now recreate this very moment in the privacy of your own cubicle. How? It’s simple!

Pick up your work phone. Now start fake sobbing. And then? Put your hand on your computer monitor, directly over this:

Pretend the warmth of your electronic monitor is actually just the hungry flesh-eating blood of man’s most adorable enemy.

This paw belongs to Wilbaer, the youngest polar bear at the Stuttgart’s Zoo. He’s not even a year old! But by the looks of it, he’s already committed many an unspeakable crime… (bear face ahead.)

Also, if you ever wondered what a Polar Bear looks like when he burps, here is your answer:

Things I would pay-per-view for $1,000: Knut vs. Wilbaer, a fight to the German finish.