December
Friday

The Top 10 Unsexiest Movies Of All Time

In response to Entertainment Weekly’s Top 10 Sexiest Movies Of All Time, I started wondering which movies are the LEAST sexy and should probably be avoided on a romantic date, or any time you’re trying to get a boner. This list could also be used as a litmus test to see if you’re a perv or not:

10. Driving Miss Daisy

9. Monster’s Ball

Halle Barry might be hot, but in this movie, the sex scene is so depressing (“I want somebody to make me feeeeeyeeel goyyooood”), it’s hard to find it appealing.
And it’s Billy Bob Thornton. Eww.

8. Charlotte’s Web

7. Requiem For A Dream

Ass to ass. That’s all I have to say.

6. Kids

I think there are laws saying you can’t be turned on by this movie.

5. Russian Ark
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A feature film in one glorious shot may be a turn-on to some film geeks out there, but honestly, if you can keep your erection (and your eyes open) throughout the length of this film, you may want to call your doctor, because that means the Viagra is having an adverse effect.

4. K-Pax
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3. The Brown Bunny

Oh, I know. Chloe Sevigny blows Vincent Gallo, and it’s real, blah blah blah. This movie is the WORST and the infamous scene is far from sexy, especially when you realize what the hell is actually going on. If you think this movie is hot, your name is Vincent Gallo.

2. The Adventures of Milo and Otis