- ALL WRAPPED UP: The attorney for allegedly-corrupt Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich says his client is innocent and does not plan to resign. All I needed to hear — this case will probably be over tomorrow. I wonder what’s happening on Without A Trace tonight! (Yahoo!)
- WHAT’S THE DEAL: Oprah admitted she’s back over 200 pounds. In a related story, a bunch of early-90s stand-up comedians got back on stage this week. (People)
- GOSSIP WOMAN: 38-year-old Mariah Carey is rumored to be pregnant. I imagine we’ll know for sure as soon as she or Nick Cannon actually have something to promote. (Celebitchy)
- SNOW PATROL: As much as I hate the internet sometimes, I doubt I hate it anywhere near as much as this high school running back who couldn’t figure out where the end zone was. (Deadspin)
- PORN SERIES: Keanu Reeves will star in the film 47 Ronin. I can’t believe they made 46 sequels to that boring Robert De Niro movie. (Variety)
