In the wake of news that Michael Jackson will be losing his Neverland Ranch forever, MJ himself left a note for his fans. It’s typical MJ child-like optimism, but what catches my eye is the word “really” in quotes. The misspelling is not what concerns me – it’s the use of quotations. There’s “nothing” that annoys me more “than” someone using quotes for no reason. But maybe MJ isn’t using them incorrectly? Maybe he’s pulling some Weekend-Update style sarcasm on his fans?

It’s as if MJ is saying: Hey look, why the hell are you standing outside my ranch…still? Really, my fans? Really? Do you really think I’m going to “perform” again? Come on. Have you seen my nose lately? Let me know if you have, because I can’t f*cking find it. I don’t miss you guys. The only thing I ever missed was my childhood. Now if you’ll “excuse” me, I have to put a mask on Blanket and go out to buy a gold statue of a sphinx.