I feel like everytime I turn on the internet, I see another Guinness World Record attempt that involves the largest group of people doing something all at the same time. For instance: this group of people who are trying to (literally, this is what was written under the picture) “Largest Gathering Of People Wearing Underpants.” Wait…isn’t almost everyone in any given place wearing underpants? Oh, I see, they’re wearing NOTHING BUT! And full disclosure: it’s for charity, but seriously, I’m getting bored with these largest gatherings world records. It’s like getting a group of people together to try and see if we can break the world record for most people in one place wearing pink nail polish and a green shirt at the same time. What the hell is the point? Also what astonishes me is the implied previous record waiting to be broken…as if people have been trying their whole lives to beat some legendary world record for most people doing a crab walk at the same time.

I know I sound real curmudgeony here, but whatever happened to the Guinness World Records of my youth? Like longest finger nails and holding one’s breath? Don’t those count for anything anymore?

They sure do look like a fun bunch, though!