- Barack Obama defeated John McCain in last night’s presidential election, winning nearly every swing state including Florida, Ohio, Virginia, and Colorado, and racking up a 7 million vote edge in the popular vote. Ready for him to reveal himself as a secret Commie Arab Terrorist Black Panther Robot any day now…
- The Democrats also tightened their hold on the Senate, picking up seats in New Hampshire, North Carolina, Virginia, Colorado and New Mexico. Either the country is really tired of the Right, or every state saw that Elizabeth Dole godless ad. Possibly both.
- Author/Comedian Al Franken lost his bid for the Minnesota senate by just 762 votes, or precisely the amount of the population who saw Stuart Saves His Family and just had to vote for the Republican incumbent.
- Oprah Winfrey told Us Weekly “I’m vibrating” about the Obama victory. Aaaand with the historic presidential triumph comes a mental image that will kill all my future erections.
- Also, it appears Harlem is taking the McCain defeat surprisingly well.
