Poor Carnie Wilson. She announced her pregnancy on Barack Obama’s big day. What’s a girl got to do to get her some spotlight? For the love of God, she already lost half her body weight! Why does she always have to be covered up, like so many old Wilson Phillips videos? Because if today wasn’t Obama’s first day as president elect, this would be THE top story on the internet. Definitely. There would be Carnie animated gifs, Carnie fan montage videos, Carnie baby showers, Carnie carnivals, Carnie stickers, and Carnie SNL sketches. But no. No. Today is Obama’s day. Good for him. It’s his time. He deserves it. And don’t forget, it’s Michelle Obama’s day too. Her struggles with finding bargains at J. Crew far outweigh the weight that Carnie struggled to lose after her first child, and gastric bypass years before. So yes, that’s what they should be talking about on all the morning talk shows. Not Carnie’s second baby. Which is due in June. And will probably have beautiful porcelain skin and a songbird’s voice, just like her mom. The real celebrity babies today are the Obama girls. Did you hear? They’re getting a puppy! Oh man, that’s cute. Sooooooooo cute. Carnie? Shadows. Obama family? Light. F*ck.
