Eighteen hours after posting my list of 20 Songs That Need To Be In Rock Band Immediately, THIS news comes over the blower:
At the risk of overestimating my self-worth or the speed with which these deals take place, I’m guessing the exchange went down exactly like this:
Philippe Dauman, Viacom CEO: Sumner, the stockholders are restless — we have to do something about this Hopper guy’s list of songs that should be in the game Rock Band. He makes a very convincing argument and he’s articulate and hilarious.
Sumner Redstone, Majority Shareholder: NoooooOO!!!!! I will not make a martyr of him.
Philippe Dauman: We have no choice. Our company, which controls the multibillion-dollar-generating MTV Networks and the Paramount-Dreamworks film studio family, simply cannot withstand this degree of pressure. The post has, like, fifty comments.
Sumner Redstone: [SIGHS. POURS GLASS OF BRANDY, SIPS, SITS IN SILENCE.] Call McCartney’s people. Tell them we’re willing to pay whatever it takes for the rights to synch up Beatles songs with scrolling sequences of colored boxes.
Philippe Dauman: And of this Hopper fellow?
Sumner Redstone: Add two more zeroes to his salary. And give him a company jet.
Philippe Dauman: That’s what I was thinking too. I’ll see to it immediately. [EXITS]
Sumner Redstone: [PACES OVER TO WINDOW, STARES OUT AT MANHATTAN SKYLINE] Now if we can only get the rights to the Loverboy catalogue…
