Biking is back (did it ever leave? Can I get ‘what whaaaaat!’) and it’s getting pretty insane. Hipsters are parading around the hippest parts of hip cities on their fixed gear bikes, nerds are modding out their bikes, and engineers are in the game doing things to bikes that make them more aerodynamic and just nerdier. Now I’ll be the first to say that I bought a bike a few months ago (like I said did it ever leave? What whaaaaat!). I opted for a sensible 10-speed that has been sensibly resting against the wall in my apartment for a while now. Bikes are the new city accessory, I agree, and I’m not hating. But some of them…come on people. Come on.
Here are some of the crazy bikes out there. And trust me, they’re only getting crazier.
Do you remember in the movie Rad where they did a couples bike dance? Two months after that hit theaters this bike was invented. You take the disco and the bike with you, and you’ve got a romantic bike dance scene anytime.
Keep reading for more ridonkulous bikes….
While everyone was walking around Beijing protesting the environment at the Olympics, this guy was riding around town, showing his Olympic spirit on this bike. He was also choking on smog. So, you win some, you lose some….
Put your best foot forward, walk it off, hoof it on down the road…the puns never end with this one. Is impractical a pun?
This one is always interesting to look at, and even fun to ride in maybe once. But after that, come on. Just drive.
Standard operating prodecure: must wear knickers, a derby cap, and occasionally call out, “Hey Chaaalie, where are the dames at?”
Every picture tells a story. Could you slow that back wheel down so I can see that picture and learn that story? Umm hmmm…ok, woman in a steel bikini seducing a dragon. Great story.
How else will people know about the girl with them Apple Bottom jeans and boots wit da fur if you don’t tell them? You’ve gotta blast that message. The world needs to know. This is also a perfect bike for playing those old DJ Magick Mike Bass Test CDs you had for your old Ford Escort with some mad speakers in the back. (There is actually a fascinating documentary about the kids who makes these bikes in Queens, NYC.)
These are my favorite. Fixed gear bikes are blowin’ up with the hispter kids these days, and while I must admit I have a feigned interest in them at times (did I mention I also like Swedish math rock and wear scarves with t-shirts?), they are getting a little out of control. This particular one looks like it couldn’t be put on broadcast television for fear that it would throw off the color signals or give kids seizures while they watched it. I think my eyes are freaking out as I look at the picture while I write this. It looks like it’s flashing and I’m now having to blink my eyes hard to reset them (I can still see the bike’s outline with my eyes closed – can you imagine if this zoomed past you on the street?? Your eyes would bleed only before your brain exploded! This bike is the sickness from The Happening in transportation form). As an added bonus you can see these guys riding this bike around town, probably wearing an American Apparel tank thong under their jeans:
