PETA, PETA, PETA. (PETA, PETA… it’s fun to say.) You can request that we make ice cream out of breast milk, you can drive your Van of Nightmares around NYC showing a loop of a sheep getting slaughtered, you can even make me crave falafel… but this time: You’ve gone too far.
This time, a young intern for the website Cutoutdissesction.com has changed her name to — you got it — Cutout Dissesction.com, in an effort to promote a PETA website that seeks to ban animal dissection from schools. No, really, she did. Check out her license to the right. That’s the face of a girl whose farts smell like a garbage barge in July, i.e. a staunch vegetarian.
At first, the idea of changing your name to a website for promotional purposes seemed ridiculous. How would she put her name down at a restaurant? Cutout, party of 4? You know what I’d call this girl instead? Publicity Stunt.biz! Get it? Because it’s a useless public– (snooze.)
As crazy and useless as this idea may seem, I’m nothing if not a filthy publicity whore. Which is why I would like to announce that I’m changing my name — Michelle Collins — to Best W. Ever.TV II. Too Jewish?
But let’s face it: They should ban dissection from schools. Not because it’s cruel to the animals… but because it’s cruel to the students. I opted out of dissecting a frog because I knew that, once this frog would be laid out before me, there would be Back to the Future fire shooting out of my feet as I road-runnered my way down the hall. What say you, readers? Pro or anti-dissection? Feel free to weigh in on the pro or anti a-hole discussion as well (see, license, right)
