- If there’s one man in this universe who can save Britney Spears from self-inflicted oblivion, it is undoubtedly Dr. Phil. Next time Britney is taking a hit from the crazy pipe, all the good doctor needs to do is kneel down on his haunches, sternly whisper one of his homespun tough-love catchphrases like “Britney darlin’, that dog won’t hunt” into her ear, and the evil spell of insanity under which she’s fallen will be lifted forever!
- The actors have officially announced they will not cross picket lines to attend the Golden Globes during the Writers Strike, meaning the show will pretty much just be that guy from the Hollywood Foreign Press with the funny accent babbling on while Liz Taylor drinks. But those are my favorite parts anyway, so the show must go on!
- Taylor Hicks has been dropped by his record label, suggesting that the whole “salt-and-pepper-haired karaoke super-performer dad” schtick could really only carry him so far.
- Some Italian dude who porked Lindsay Lohan gives a pretty adequite report back on his conquest. Poor guy is so cute and earnest, you just sort of want to grab him around the neck and give him a big noogie (at least you would, had he not so recently had intimate contact with Lindsay Lohan’s genitals).
- Jack Black and his wife are expecting another child, which will finally be enough to complete his plans for an all-infant acoustic comedy rock duo called Tenacious Baby.
