This past weekend, Figure Skaters all over the world were competing for hard-earned gold at both the U.S. and European Figure Skating Championships. And in case you actually had, you know, “plans”, or weren’t anywhere near Croatia to catch the action, BWE.tv is happy to bring you the following For Your Consideration: The World’s Figure Skaters. So put on your most fabulous ensombs, and enjoy:

BEST SHAKESPEAREAN MONOLOGUE

Jeremy Abbott

VOGUE-IEST

Derrick Delmore

WORST TIME TO FIND OUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS DEAD

Johnny Weir

WORST HOMAGE TO ROBOCOP

Britain’s Sinead and John Kerr

GOLLUMIEST

France’s Brian Joubert

After the jump, more figure skating nominees than you can shake a glitter-encrusted unicorn stick at!!

MOST CONSENSUAL

Russia’s Maria Mukhortova and Maxim Tran

BEST ANSWER TO “WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?”

Italy’s Carolina Kostner

MOST LIKELY TO PLUNDER YOUR GOLD THEN SERVE YOU A FABULOUS MEAL

Evan Lysacek

MOST ORGASMED

Switzerland’s Stephane Lambiel

FUNERALIEST

Russia’s Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabal

MOST ANTI-GRAVITY

France’s Isabelle Delobel and Olivier Schoenfelder

CROTCHIEST

Tiffany Vise and Derek Trent

MOST CONVINCING DREW PETERSON IMPERSONATION

France’s Nathalie Pechalat and Fabian Bo

MOST LIKELY TO HAVE BEEN MOLESTED BY THE OWNER OF AMERICAN APPAREL

Finland’s Kiira Korpi

MOST LIKELY TO BE KILLED BY HER SKATE

Finland’s Laura Lepisto

LEAST SPINED

Finland’s Kiira Korpi

MOST PRE-EMPTIVE WALK OF FAME STAR EVER

Britain’s Jenna McCorkell

CUTEST EX-RAT PACKER

Ryan Bradley

MOST INAPPROPESSSSSSSSSSS.

Germany’s Christina and William Beier