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23 September
Tuesday

Last Night, We Saw The REAL Serena VanDerWoodsen!

On last night’s episode of Gossip Girl, a carefully laid plan by Chuck Bass unleashed the beast within Serena. Basically, Dan was seen talking to a girl in the hallway on the first day of school, and, several drinks at a posh night club (filled with high schoolers) and one chemical burn to the scalp later, Serena fell off the good-girl wagon and morphed into the ice queen we’d always knew was there, but had not yet seen on the show. This transformation really showed Blake Lively’s acting chops, because (as the Gossip Girl narrator so accurately described her, “if looks could kill…”) the range of expression that Blake delivered was nothing short of genius. If you missed the birth of Serena B*tchDerWoodsen, you can see the brilliance here:

The “I’m Prettier Than You” Stare
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Blake draws on years of her own life experience to master this nuanced character trait.

The Smell Of A Sick Fart
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There’s nothing that conveys wealth and smug self-entitlement better than pretending you have smelled a sick fart / the stench of the upper middle class.

Biting Glass
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Showing your suitors and ex-boyfriends that you
enjoy eating glass is not only sexy, it’s subversive.

If Looks Could Kill…
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They probably would, by boring the person to death. The irony of the phrase
“dead in the eyes” is not lost on Lively.

Waiting For Someone To Put A Straw In The Mouth
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This is the Blakey Lively special. Make a slight opening with the lips,
just big enough for a straw, or Dan’s tiny penis.

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