When I was 5 years old, I had a dream for adulthood, I dreamed that I would grow up to be a ventriloquist who owned a pet shop. Then, at around 13, it dawned on me that ventriloquist’s were f*cking terrifying. (And thanks to Oprah, so are pet shops.) This sentiment was only further justified on this morning’s episode of Rachael Ray, where the show had it’s very own America’s Got Talent segment, replete with guest judge Jerry Springer. The show welcomed April, a lippy young blonde with a muppet on her arm. In the following segment, April teaches the world a very important lesson: If you have terrible comedic timing, never EVER make a Scott Peterson joke on morning television.
Because you know when Jerry Springer buzzes you off the stage for being too tasteless, you’ve got real problems on your felt hands.
UPDATE: One of the BWE writers just sent this to me: “I did a show once with that girl at Beauty Bar, she stripped down to her bra and panties onstage.” So there’s that.
