Earlier today I was looking for a picture of a baby with angel wings, and I came across something incredibly rockbottom. It was an e-card site for someone who’s had a miscarriage. Let’s forget about the fact that the LAST thing you would want to do when a friend or loved one has gone through something as difficult as that is to send them a f*cking e-card. Let’s just PUT THAT ASIDE for a moment. Who in their right mind would pick these elements to build such an e-card?? Let me describe the options to you (this the actual language from the site*):
Step 1: Select Card
Choose one of the following pictures:
Step 2: Enhance Your Card
Add Heading:
Again, this is exactly as it appears, including grammatical errors.
Add Signature:
Really??? You’re going to sign this card with “Take care” or “sincerely”??? What is this, a rejection e-mail from the job you just interviewed for? Why not just add “Best,” to really bring the intimacy?
Step 3: Attach Music
Select A Song (I checked, and the songs are those MIDI synthesizey versions, and NO, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP)
WHAAAAAATTTTTTT???????????? Now, to be fair, the webmaster has this note:
I highly recommend checking the music using the preview function to make sure it is appropriate. Our suggestions for appropriately soft music are “Stairway to Heaven,” “Yesterday,” and “Moon River.”
EVEN STILL…REALLY? First of all, why even have the options for those other songs? What if you accidentally clicked on the Beetlejuice Theme? Can you imagine how f*cked up that would be? Second of all, even if you DO follow her recommendations, do you realize how BAD a MIDI version of Stairway To Heaven sounds, and how grossly inappropriate that song is for this circumstance??? WHAT. THE. HELL.
Step 4: Write Your Message
I wrote a message all right. Here’s my sample card:
That should do it.
*I’m not linking to the actual website, because seriously, I think some sweet but sadly misguided lady made these thinking that she was bringing comfort to mourning mothers across the globe.
