- TARA’S FRIENDSHIP BIKINIS: Tara Reid is releasing a line of bikinis based on her love of making friendship bracelets. The colors symbolize stuff like, pink for friendship, red for love, and yellow for whoredom. They kind of look like they’re made out of that plastic material they make table-cloths out of, right? What, was she on a self-appointed Project Runway Gristedes challenge? (Webster’s Is My Bitch)
- KATE VERSUS THE VOLCANO: Kate Hudson and her hairstylist are in hot lava. They have been sued by a haircare products company that claims Kate stole their idea for a top secret haircare formula using volcanic ash. In response, Kate’s attorneys reportedly said “This complaint blows! HEYOOOO! See what we did there? We made a volcano joke. HAHAHAHA! Hmmm. *cough* No comment.” (Scandalist)
- IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE SIMPLE: No one watched your show, Denise Richards, and now it’s canceled. Huh. I guess the E! ratings formula (Vapid Celebrity x Meaningless Life Issues) + Child Molestation Accusations = Ratings Gold doesn’t hold true anymore. (Celebitchy)
- ORANGINA HAS PULP FRICTION: Orangina is getting complaints over an ad running in the UK that doesn’t objectify women as much as it animalizes them. The commercial features a bunch of grotesque-looking animals that walk upright and have breasts and human-like legs. The money shot, if you will, is when some Orangina bottles spray from between the legs of some zebras onto the breasts of a bunny-lady. How…refreshing! (Videogum)
- BASICALLY, IT’S AWFUL: In describing her new line of fake hair products, Paris Hilton explained that “Basically it’s a headband with a hairstyle attached to it.” Dang. I was hoping it would be basically a headband with a lifestyle attached to it: the wearer can get away with doing nothing all day, prancing around in a teddy for no reason, and basically acting like a p*ssy vending machine. (EntertainmentWise)
