- Lindsay Lohan, never one to miss an opportunity to be totally cliche about her same-sex experimentation, has gotten a matching “little heart” tattoo with girlfriend Samantha Ronson.
- Some people are speculating that Paris Hilton read from a teleprompter in her response video to John McCain – funny, because I was convinced she was riffing on her views about US energy policy off the top of her head.
- Shia LaBeouf’s rep has assured us that doctors aren’t going to be amputating any of his fingers, as was previously reported. You want a Beef thumb? I can get you a Beef thumb.
- Perez says he worked to attain to his svelte new physique so someone would want to have sex with him. I don’t really have the heart to tell the poor guy that it probably wasn’t the weight so much as the fact that he’s a pink sparkly celebrechaun whose primary skill-set is drawing poorly realized penises on people’s faces in MS Paint.
- Yesterday was greatest director in the world M. Night Shyalaman’s birthday, so don’t forget to sign his card.
