If you’re not familiar with the iPhone, like I am, you might not be aware of the 1000+ available iPhone Apps available to enhance your device – games, gadgets, software, etc. Some of them are free, some of them cost money, some of them are useful, and some of them are totally pointless. But one of them…one amazing one…costs $999.99, and it’s got one purpose: to make you look like a dillweed. It’s called the “I Am Rich” App and ALL IT DOES IS DISPLAY A PICTURE OF A RED JEWEL ON YOUR PHONE, for the purpose of showing all the people around you (i.e., NO ONE, because if you bought this, you probably haven’t had contact with another human in about 25 years) that you were rich enough to spend a thousand dollars on what essentially is an animated gif.
Now, you might think this is the most ridiculous iPhone App that could ever exist. But I am pretty sure we can come up with something better, America. Let’s do this.
I AM RICH. Richard Belzer got tired of doing Law & Order, and pretending to know what comedy is on Last Comic Standing. So for 100 million dollars, you can be him!
See more apps, after the jump!
I AM. Receive a personal message from God explaining who he is, at 5, 15, or 30 minute intervals! God will personally say your name, followed by the sentence “I AM.” You can choose from several different ring tones: Be Still And Know That I Am (a quiet whisper), Hellfire (Thunder cracking sound effects followed by a booming voice), and Neil Diamond (set to the tune of “I Am…I Said”).
iCarumba. Hey nerds! Ever felt like you need to express frustration, surprise, and other human emotions? Try iCarumba! Push the Bartton (copyright Bill Nerdson) and hear the classic Bart Simpson phrase AY CARUMBA! Perfect when trying to tell that special lady in your life “I like your style.” Brought to you by Bill Nerdson, who has been developing this app for the past 20 years in the room above his Dad’s garage (he totally predicted that the iPhone would one day be invented, okay?).
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