Those of you with a heartbeat have most likely already seen The Dark Knight, this summer’s box office smash where a selfless superhero saves a city from the hands of a terrorist in clownface. Last week, The Wall Street Journal released an editorial comparing the caped crusader to possibly the most hated person in America right now, after Carlos Mencia. Yes, the article suggested that Batman is actually President Bush.
Author Andrew Klavan writes:
There seems to me no question that the Batman film “The Dark Knight,†currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past… “The Dark Knight,†then, is a conservative movie about the war on terror.
(Slowly bringing monocle down from eyehole) I see. This Andrew character certainly does have a way of looking at things, though I think we can all agree that Bush would barely fill half of Batman’s nipple cups, as I assume he has microscopic haireolas.
But in an effort to thwart any sort of “Amazing Movie Ruining” theories, artist Drew Friedman risks having all of his phones tapped in order to bring us the following portrait (seen left) sent to Vanity Fair. Now, this analysis is a little simpler: The Joker is maniacal tyrant, etc etc, who looks fabulous in pancake foundation. The Joker is President George Bush.
So, which is more apt? Is President Bush more like The Batman, or more of a tranny killer clown?
I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that President Bush is actually Rachel Dawes, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal: Long, sagging bags under the eyes, vying for the attention of various local celebrities and politicians, using his natural sex appeal and effortless charm to woo sinister lobbies. And let’s face it: He looks fab in a flapper gown. Batman is Condi, the real decision maker, and the goddamned love of his life, and The Joker is Dick Cheney, a man so evil he will literally blow away his own friends. Thus ending today’s installment of “Kind of a Stretch Theater.”
