Consider this piece “Abuse, Explained.” As you have probably heard, Christian Bale’s mother and sister went to the police the night before The Dark Knight premiered in London, claiming that Christian had assaulted them. Police were generous enough to allow Bale to attend the premiere, and soon after, he turned himself into authorities, was arrested, and then quickly bailed out.
But many questions remain: How could the beloved actor who plays Batman verbally abuse his mom and sister, so badly that they report him to police? Witnesses claim Bale flew off the handle last week on the set of the new Terminator movie, that the actor was exhausted, stressed out about his Batman publicity duties, and depressed over the passing of co-star Heath Ledger. Some reported that Bale flipped out when his mother talked smack about his wife. Speculation abounded. What happened to CeeCee Bale?
But we think we’ve figured all of it out. Why Christian has such vengeance and hatred for his own mother. Everything can pretty much be explained by the following sentence, taken from the UK newspaper, The Sun:
Mum Jenny, 61 — a part-time clown — is said to have claimed she was pushed over during the row, which broke out in –
Hold on, hold on. Repeat that first part again?
Mum Jenny, 61 — a part-time clown.
I see. Christian Bale’s mother… IS A F**KING CLOWN. And please, allow us to remind you:
The Joker? Also a clown of sorts.
So let me see if I get this straight: A method actor plays a superhero who battles a demented clown. This actor is also in the stages of mourning the death of said clown actor. And this same actor, exhausted from working constantly, now lashes out against his mother, who is also a clown, after she talks sh*t about his wife?
In other words, Batman:Joker::Christian Bale:His Mom The Clown. And really, can you blame him? Clowns are goddamned terrifying. We’re amazed he was able to restrain himself so well. Christian Bale is still a hero, folks! Sleep easy tonight.
