April 25th, 2008 – Fifteen-year-old Miley Cyrus poses semi-nude for an Annie Liebowitz photo shoot in Vanity Fair.
April 28th – Miley tells Us Weekly “I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.”
May 4 – Miley thanks her fans for their support in her first concert following the scandal. She has been presumably instructed to ignore the thirteen “Show us your Tiiiiiiiiits!” crowd signs.
May 8th - Dina Lohan tells the apparently existent website momlogic.com, “I don’t know Miley’s mom, but stay strong… Stay strong, keep your head up, you know, and be her mom.” Following this advice, Miley’s mom continues to factually be Miley’s mom.
June 17th – Billy Ray Cyrus appears on Today, forces mentions of his #1 single from sixteen years ago, his recently completed film, and his concert for the troops; adds “the more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks.”
June 27th – Miley tells Billboard “I was embarrassed… but also it’s like, every career thing that I do can’t be perfect, and sometimes my decisions are wrong.”
July 15th – Miley tells TV Guide when asked about the photo shoot, “I don’t dwell on the negativity. I want to be a positive role model.” She adds that her favorite show is Sex and the City, a show in which every female character only opens her mouth to talk about or suck d*cks.
July 22nd – Miley tells Good Morning America that the photos are “a mistake” and adds “I was just in a stage where I was just trying to get things done, and maybe look for an older audience… I was working with a big magazine just trying to go with what they were saying.”
The Future – Miley Cyrus apologizes in OK! Magazine, Star Magazine, The New York Times Magazine, The New Yorker, Newsweek, The New Republic, Bon Appetit, Wired, The U.S. News List of America’s 100 Best Liberal Arts Colleges, Popular Science, The Christian Science Monitor, Jet, Ebony, Field and Stream, Ebony Field and Stream, Guitar World, Sports Illustrated For Kids, The Latest Garfield Book, The Official 2008 Beckett Baseball Card Price Guide, The Liner Notes Of Coldplay’s Viva La Vida, Piss Drinkers Magazine, The Miley Cyrus Apology Indie ‘Zine, The Playbill For August: Osage County, The Weekly World News, The Weekly World News List of America’s 100 Best Liberal Arts Colleges, Cosmopolitan, CosmoGIRL, and the Cosmo parody magazine Cowsmopolitan.
