Haven’t posted an Onion News Network vid in a while, mostly because they’re just across the board funny and you shouldn’t need us to remind you to check that site, but this one — “Domino’s Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat” — hit a little close to home for me. Cue flashback harp…
Back when I worked at Domino’s (March of ’08) the franchise owner / manager / cheap bastard named Sam used to make himself lunch every day but was so taste-jaded by his years at Domino’s that he never just ate straight-up pizza. Instead, he would create some other ridiculous combination of the five foods we sold, resulting in cheesy bread with barbecue chicken kickers on it or, like, doughballs with olives and the disgusting meat from the Philly Cheesteak pizza inside, eat them while locked in his office, then offer us his cold leftovers hours later. To make a long story short, this motivated me to learn how to read and write and I eventually left Domino’s for the wonderful blogging job I have today.
Also, the dude always told us to answer the phones with “Thank you for choosing Domino’s Pizza” instead of just “Thank you for choosing Domino’s” so that people didn’t think they had called Domino’s Sugar by mistake. Swear to f*cking God.
