Kirsten Dunst was spotted doin’ the ol’ horizontal canoodle with newly-single Justin Long yesterday, which raises an age-old question that many of us at BWE have already answered loudly and unsolicitedly: Seriously, would you sleep with Kirsten Dunst if you had the chance?
The cons of the situation are evident — by Hollywood standards, she ain’t exactly gonna crack the E! list of the 100 Hottest Celebrity Asses And Vaginas anytime soon, nor is she in line for any Acting Oscars / Primetime Emmys / Participation Trophies From Tooth-Related Competitions. She’s also now associated with Justin Long, who’s like 1% above just, like, a dude.
ON THE PLUS SIDE, though, she was in Eternal Sunshine, and Spider-Man 2 had its moments (not of her hotness, but moments), and I’ve never slept with anyone in the actual realm of celebrity (I don’t count Kathy Najimy, as it was years after Hocus Pocus), plus it would make for one hell of a blog post, possibly even better than those liveblogs every time I have sex now (which reminds me, I have been fired, and sorry about those).
THE VERDICT: Definitely YES. Would I lose a little dignity and celebrity snark cred in exchange for the ability to watch Spider-Man with my grandkids and brag that I banged Mary Jane, and having my three-year-old granddaughter turn to me and say “I don’t even know what ‘banged’ means and that’s still f*cking disgusting”? Yes. Yes I would.
