I have long-dreaded the day when someone whose opinion matters to me will grab my Ipod, press shuffle, and die, reanimate, and die all over again at the loads of musical manure which make up my playlists. Sure, you’ve got your typical Clay Aiken “This Is The Night”‘s, and need I even mention my 1GB Britney Spears folder. There are plenty of Broadway soundtracks, lots of 90s rap, strange French music from the 50s, and Celiney Celine Celine Dion. (To my credit, I also have about 256MB of “hip” tunes. You know, what the “kids” are listening to.) And in between this spectrum of garbage to classics, there are also hundreds of songs that live somewhere deep in the digital trenches of my mp3 player that I’ve never even heard. Random songs that have escaped the clutches of the dreaded Ipod shuffle.
Which is why, today, I came across a tune that I realized is easily the WORST song on my Ipod. And, believe it or not, it’s sung by the recently deceased Lucianno Pavarotti. Seriously. For really real.
The song is called “Ti Adoro.” It starts out nicely enough. A faraway singing. It then turns into a jazzy, MIDI-file nightmare, that was created on a broken Casio keyboard. It tries to sprinkle some “Figaro” phrases into it, but really, nothing can rescue this horror. How could Big Looch approve this?! As the song played on, it became clear: This is the worst song on my Ipod. Because with Pavarotti, the expectaysh is for it to be fabulous… and not the background song played on someone’s Geocities homepage.
I bring you two MUST WATCH!!!!!!! videos for the song. The first one is the “official” music video, which would officially be my favorite video ever if not for the terrible song. Why, you ask? Well… it opens with a goose wearing a scarf, and a horse donning a pretty smart looking hat…
After the cut: Another video that I’m begging you watch the first 15 seconds of. Also, tell us what the worst song on your Ipod is!
OK, this one is more of a documentary style video. But the first 20 or so seconds!! Really, the whole thing is must see. I think it’s Pavarotti’s first foray into the grotty world of soft-core S&M:
“Are you ready? Pa Pa Ra Pa Pa.” — Big Looch
