USA, you should totally check out the front page of CNN.com right now! In response to the announcement that Belgian brewer InBev will buy out Anheuser-Busch, CNN posted a poll asking readers if they would still drink Budweiser if it was owned by a Belgian company. Kind of a weird question to be asking in the first place; I can’t remember if Belgium was on the Axis of Evil or not. Anyway, the poll offered an additional option, “I don’t drink Budweiser.” As of 2:40 p.m., 55% of people who voted said they don’t drink Budweiser. How is it possible that the vast majority of people don’t drink the beer of the people, for the people, and, until today, BY the people? It can only mean one thing: a bunch of traitorous bastards are reading CNN.com, thus skewing the answers!
Or, more likely, this is just an indication of how poorly Anheuser-Busch is doing, that most people don’t drink their staple product anymore, and that no amount of patriotic, sob-inducing commercials will save them.
I think the much more relevant, and incredibly significant question here is HOW WILL THIS MERGER EFFECT BUSCH GARDENS??? Will all the countries be replaced with one big Belgium? Will they change the name of the Loch Ness Monster to The Edward de Smedt* Ride of Terror?
*Man who invented asphalt; best famous person from Belgium.
