As a lady, when I come across a newspaper or magazine article that deals with lady-related issues, I tend to drop what I’m doing (knitting, dishes, diaper-changing, as the case may be) and read said article with a real joy and curiosity usually reserved for, say, baking. (Being a lady, I find books “complicated”, and much more of a chore than, say, getting pregnant.) So you can imagine how excited I was when I saw the following tease on Yahoo.com:
Interesting… IPhones, those wacky “devices” that make calls and send e-mails, causing ladies problems? I threw my newborn triplets to the ground and clicked ahead. If this was even half as good as that Beedj arty in Cosmo this month, well, let’s just say it would be pretty good great. And the article read:
Women with long nails speak out against iPhone design
Most people either love or hate the iPhone’s touch screen, and based on a report on the LA Times, women with long fingernails are among the haters. Why? Well, since the iPhone’s touchscreen only responds to electrical charges emitted by your bare fingertips, women with long nails are left out in the cold. A woman interviewed for the article went so far as to suggest Apple was being misogynistic because it did not include a stylus for women and didn’t consider womens’ fingers and nails when designing the phone…
This all reminded me of an iPhone reviewer who had a hard time using the iPhone due to her long nails, and in her frustration she said, “I guess people who use Apple products are too cool for fingernails.”
Why I… are you telling me that ladies who shun a good claw-clipping now and again are not able to click-clack their way to technological nirvana? That DOES seem misogynistic! Especially considering I get all of my e-mail passwords airbrushed directly onto my nails! How else am I supposed to remember all of those variations of my last name and birthdate? And why do they call it a MANicure? Shouldn’t it be a WOmanicure?? It’s all just so very confusing…
AFTER THE JUMP: I have a realization.
But what’s this? You know, now that I’m powering up the ol’ grey matter, it’s beginning to occur to me that not only women have long nails. Why, coked-up bankers have really long nails. So do vampires. I tell you who won’t be geo-tagging iPhone photos anytime soon… Wolverine, that’s who. And get a load of this guy!!
Good luck watching Youtube videos on the go with those hand-talons, Fakey Scissorhands.
And then, it hit me: Oh Collins, you ol’ gal of a bitch! You’ve just overreacted again for no reason whatsoever!! Gawd, you can be such a complainy little harpie sometimes. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to go scrapbook all of my old high school sanitary napkins.
