- STAR WITNESS: A witness in the R. Kelly sex case testified to partaking in multiple threesomes with the R&B singer and a teenager. On the plus side, the court managed to save money by reusing the drawings from the Michael Vick case. (E! Online)
- ED MCMAHON: Hillary Clinton is apparently open to the idea of running as Barack Obama’s Vice President. But when will the white Anglo male start getting some representation in the U.S. government? (CNN)
- FILM CONNOISSEUR: Deepak Chopra is defending “The Love Guru” against mounting Hindu opposition. Said a Hindu spokesperson, “I would like to re-iterate, we’re not offended by this movie because if its religious implications, we just all agree it looks like garbage.” (Hollywood Reporter)
- BLOG-BAITING: Kevin Federline has been named “Father of the Year” by a Las Vegas Club desperate to have a bunch of gossip blogs make fun of it. (Celebitchy)
- YA DANG ADULTS: Comedian Joe Mande has figured out how to make Andy Rooney several degrees closer to something resembling almost rational — remove everything but the first and last sentence of his weekly commentaries. (Gawker)
