Yesterday, the House Committee for Things That Aren’t All That Superimportant voted 402-3 to make May 8, 2008, LAST Tuesday and almost ten years after his death, Frank Sinatra Day. Rep. Jose Serrano of New York, the man behind the bill, told the House about how his father always insisted English was a romantic language… but only when sung by the velveteen idol Sinatra. But it looks like Congress was too busy working on these other weird things, like the economy and the war, to actually approve Frank Sinatra Day before it happened.
Nevertheless, it’s not too late to show your respect for this man, this legend… which is why we’ve put together a few ways you can celebrate Frank Sinatra Day, even if it’s a couple of days too late. You could:
- You could Do Be Do Be Do your taxes.
- Pinch a nerve. (Also a nice way to celebrate Phil Hartman Day.)
- Bake a trayful of Maca-croons, then eat the entire thing by yourself while crying at your stupid tray of pun cookies that no one else wants because, hello, everyone hates macaroons. Luckily, the Ring-A-Ding-Ding-Dongs were a hit.
- Convince your spouse to “Do it my way”, whatever that means.
- Become besties with The Mafia.
- Come up with your own “Pack” name for you and your swingin’ friends. Some suggestions: The Flat Pack, The Chat Pack, The Scat Pack, The Woman’s Hat Pack, The Hognose Bat Pack, and the always popular Fat Pack.
- Place your bets on whether or not Mindy’s sells more cheesecake or strudel. (For the real Guys & Dolls lovers out there.)
- Do a shot of exotic booze at a bar in far Bombay.
- Hit a broad the ol’ fashioned way.
- Give Mia Farrow a call, and see how she’s doing. Then, marry a teenager.
- Finally, try your best to NOT get a kick out of the following things: Champagne, Perfume from Spain, The bop-type refrain, and please get no kick from cocaine or in a plane.
- Write a short list full of vague Sinatra references.
- Be self-referential.
