Last night, yet another informative conversation between myself and my mother, Judy Collins (no relation to Judy Collins):
Mother: There’s something I need to send you, something from today’s Times, you will love it.
Michelle: (exhausted) Can I just check it online?
Mother: (pause) I guess so. Go to the NY Times travel section. Do you see an article on Naked Vacations?
Michelle: Yes…
Mother: OK, so what do you see there?
Michelle: Um, Naked volleyball?
Mom: Nooooo…. Do you see a picture of legs playing tennis and a shadow?
Michelle: Hold on… (clicking) Yes.
Mom: Good. And what is it that you see there?
(Keep clicking to find out what salacious image was printed in the New York Times…)
Mom: OK, so, what do you see?
Michelle: Uh, his balls?
Mom: YES!! (4 minutes of pure laughter on her end.)
Mother continues: (Ed. Note: at this point I realize I’m definitely blogging about this, so the following conversation is verbatim) You know, I’m looking in the travel section, and I’m thinking “Uch look at these f*cking ugly people.” And something caught my eye in that shadow and I thought, “No, they didn’t do it.” Cause you know I read the paper at Starbucks when I go an hour early to work? And I’m sitting and there’s people coming in. And I’m calling them over “Excuse me what do you see?” And they peed laughing. I mean you cannot not laugh at that. I’m saying “You know my shadow wouldn’t look like this.”
I think they went a little risque there. (End.)
So if an overly zealous woman called you over to her newspaper at a Miami, FL Starbucks this weekend and asked you to locate the above gentleman’s “Shadow Balls”, please accept my deepest and sincerest apologies.
